November 3

Well, if there is any idea I need to revisit, it's becoming exceptional.  I've kind of fallen apart with the end of my last relationship - lazy, unmotivated, and fat - just realized how fat when I tried on some of my jackets.  Regained all the 45 pounds I lost!!!  Can't believe I let that happen!!!  Today has to be the end of that and the beginning of becoming exceptional,  I want to lose this weight, conquer my compulsive eating habits once and for all, and make big things happen at work.  I'm going to embrace being single (well, with some exception for whatever it is I'm doing with Richard) and get my life in order once and for all.  I'm not doing this again after this - time to grow up and live the life I want.

First thing, oddly, I will eat vegetables every day - haven't done that in way too long.  Treadmill every day or at least most and most of all, no more excuses!  Can't believe I'm back here again.  I'm promising myself that it's the last time and that it ends now!

Arghhh!  Again, kind of walked away, but I am back, and will hopefully stay... that way :)  Heehee.

Point of the post today - I will NEVER AGAIN do a presentation, training session, workshop that isn't exceptional.  I promise!

That means I will know my stuff to the nth degree, I will consider the needs of the audience and send them home with something that will be meaningful and useful, and I will make the presentation fun and enjoyable.  I will be completely prepared, practiced, and will have my timing down solid.

I love doing presentations, but I sometimes put them off, and that isn't fair to the people who take the time to come.  From now on, if I agree to present, I will make it something grand.

Okay, I apparently am easily distracted.  I'm not going to let that happen again.  I got caught up in some serious food issues, and have kind of let things fall apart.  It is definitely time to start all over, and not a minute too soon (probably a few minutes too late).  I am pretty sick and tired of myself and my behavior these days.  I am eating without any control, and buying food that is both bad for me and that will sabotage all my goals for my physical self.  I am spinning my wheels at work and focusing on all the piddly little things while there are so many big things that would make such a huge difference.  This girl - the girl of the last few months - I don't like her at all, and she isn't very happy either.

I will become exceptional this year, and I will do it beginning right now.  I will take control of my life and the choices I make.  Starting over, going to do it right.

Today, it really begins - and I do have the energy for it - know I'll have to keep rediscovering that as I go.  First step, gathering up the whole picture of everything that is going on right now.  I actually have 9 active projects (from small to really large) and a variety of other smaller tasks on my plate.  They have now all been identified, and next steps have been determined.  Now, I just need to get busy and get going on them.

The next step is to plan a meeting with my 2 supervisors - we are going to have to work hand-in-hand together to accomplish everything I want to happen - and I'm sure they have things they want to do as well.  I will sit down with them and go over all the various things that are happening or that I want to happen.  Once we've set a course of action, the next step will be talking to the rest of the department.  We really can't make things happen without them. 

In the meanwhile, for those projects and tasks that are largely mine alone, I just need to get started knocking them off.  Will make an ambitious but manageable to-do list for each day.  It really is time to stop planning (something I love, love, love to do) and start doing! 

I need to prepare for 2 meetings this afternoon, and then I will prioritize and get started on making big things happen.  And yes, I'm confident that both meetings are necessary and will be useful - and I'm determined they will be focused AND over as quickly as possible - while still allowing for the necessary thought and discussion. 

I am enjoying the Christmas holiday and getting rested up for what is really going to be the best year ever.  Have spent time with people I love, read a lot of books, took a few naps - life is pretty good.  I'm going to get started on the plan a bit early, though - have time on my hands, will start putting my house in order.  Need to do some cleaning up and cleaning out.  Also got a book on managing/leading - so far, very interesting - will put the title here if the book pans out as a good one.  I have really benefited from some great books this year - will make a list.

Also just relaxing and enjoying - going out to dinner with friends tonight, looking forward to it.  A couple days of relaxing, another day spent with friends, and yet a few more days of relaxing - good way to end and begin again.

I'm wrapping up this year - it has really been a pretty decent year, all in all.  I'm heading off to my Christmas vacation with things in good shape - projects are at good places, to-do list is empty, email and inboxes are cleared out.  I am so ready, though, to make next year be so much more than that.

I'm going to become great at my job, I'm going to make things happen, learn my stuff, be a great manager - I am going to become real.  I am going to start planning for how to make this happen:

• Habits, I think it is going to be all about habits - creating healthy habits and getting rid of unhealthy habits - morning habits, evening habits, exercise habits, eating habits, working habits 
• Scheduling important things and sticking to the schedule - time for projects, learning, and doing
• Focusing on work habits - finding small ways to improve my focus and persistence
• Remembering the big picture - the end game - good health, good condition, happy staff, great projects
• Not caring what other people think - about my work, my appearance, my plan, my journey - I am going to live my life to make myself happy

I am not waiting any more - I will die someday - I have nothing to lose - I only want good for myself and those around me - I want to feel great - emotionally, physically, every way.

Another year has almost gone by and I am still average - doing fine, only a bit overweight and out of shape, with a house that is fairly clean and neat by most standards.  Life is good, life is easy, life is fine.

I want so much more than this, and 2013 is the year that I am going to make it happen - the year of becoming exceptional.

I have been incredibly self-indulgent - doing things the easy way and just sliding by.  That is NOT what I want for myself.  I want a full, happy, crazy life and career - I want to go out thinking I did it right.

Now, now, now - my time is now - this is my year, and at the end of it, I will look back and be very, very proud of what I have accomplished.